It's Back

There is a very solid reason why I haven't posted in weeks. Part pride, part denial, but mostly disbelief. My left bunion has returned. No, I'm not kidding. This is a recent pic...

After a brief period of depression, followed quickly by anger - I will share my experience.

A couple weeks after getting my boot off, it looked like my big toe was beginning to drift back over to the left, while my metatarsal bone appeared to be pushing it's way out again. I spent days staring at my foot and showing it to my husband. He, being the supportive and completely awesome guy that he is, wanted to make me feel confident that it was fine and was most likely a result of swelling. He was only able to hold that position for a few hours, before my obsession of bunion photos, texts and emails made him snap. He knew it was true, the fucking bunion was coming back.

A hellish surgery, weeks of post-op recovery, inability to run with my kids, golf, or even walk - has been in vain. I am crushed. I went to see my surgeon at the 9 week post op mark to show him what was happening. For a man who assured me of his expertise on bunionectomy surgery, and who was adamant about me opting to have the most invasive of the bunion surgery options - for fear of under-correction... his response to what was occurring did not sit well with me. His first response was "That's not a bunion, it's very normal for your big toe to try and find your other toes." WTF? Does he think this is magic? Did my big toe feel lonely? If it's so normal, why don't we all have bunions? More importantly, why the hell did you cut me open, cut bones and put hardware in my foot? His next response (somewhat less witty than the first) was that he had the option of doing an Akin procedure on top of the Open Base Wedge Osteotomy to make sure that it was straight - but that he didn't want to over-correct. So, rather than over-correct and have a "really straight" foot, I now have a bunion again. sweet.

He also instructed me to begin wearing a toe splint that keeps my big toe aligned. I am guessing he means the same non-surgical toe splints that he once told me don't work at all and that surgery was absolutely necessary. Dick. As if I would opt to have such a major surgery and then start wearing a brace all day. I knew that he had screwed up, and so did he. Good luck getting a doctor of any sort to admit fault. I decided to get two more opinions.

No surprise that the two opinions were the same. I saw two highly recommended orthopedic surgeons who focus on reconstruction and repair. Both said the same thing... my bunion was under-corrected and indeed, coming back. Not only did he fail to correct the bunion entirely, but the hardware he placed in my foot does not allow for a simple rotation of that bone to align the toe. In more simple terms, I have to have the surgery redone. You can imagine my joy.

I will be doing my right foot with a different surgeon this Summer as planned. The procedure she will do is invasive, but the recovery is much better and she will have me weight bearing slightly in the first couple of weeks. Once my right foot is finished, I can make the decision on redoing my left. There's a chance I may decide to live with the mistake, but chances are...

For the Summer, my stud of a husband will see me in pink BIRKENSTOCKS...  and even if I suck at golf, we are back on the course.

xo
mercergirl
www.kitchendanceparty.com

Boot's Off Bitches!!

Just returned home from my 7 week appointment. I went there with my left shoe in my hand, in hopes that I would be walking out with it on. Victory!! My x-rays looked great, and being the skin care specialist I am... I had not touched my scab. He took the liberty of pulling it off to reveal pink skin underneath and clean healing. This means I can start rubbing arnica on it and hopefully avoiding or minimizing any scarring.

Dr. C instructed me to start doing 50/50 boot and shoe. Nothing felt better than shoving my swollen club into that running shoe. He was surprised that I had gotten to this point in just 7 weeks, but I listened and followed his direction... and didn't push it. I could not be happier. From here I will start PT twice a week for four weeks. I have clearance to exercise on machines at the gym, as well as swimming. Slowly easing into walking and more rigorous activity.

I will see him again in four weeks, and most likely get my second surgery on the schedule for late Summer. As awful as this recovery was, today made it all worth while.

lipstick on my piggies...

As if being unable to walk isn't enough, healing has rendered my foot so gross. Not only do I have a crusty incision scab, but because of all the trauma to the foot and skin by the surgery, what skin I do have is either bruised or peeling off. It's pretty.

In an attempt to make myself and those around me less appalled, I decided to paint my toenails today. I used my favorite Butter polish and sat on the patio for a moment of pampering. I have to say that even though this may not be the best shade (skin colored stuff is apparently in style), it does make a difference in how I feel about my current foot situation. 

At this point I have little to no pain, hate my boot and am scared to death to put weight on my foot. I have spent hours on my main blog, groomed my eyebrows to perfection and mastered hopping on one foot... all which are very important in their own ways - but I am counting the days until I can put these walking contraptions on the shelf and get back to my somewhat normal life.

For any of you reading this that are planning your surgery, here are some good things to put on your "to do" list...

xo

bree mercer james

• Invest in a hands free crutch
• Make sure you have a great basket next to your area of rest (couch or bed) to fill with all you may need.
• face wipes
• body wipes
• deodorant
• magnifying mirror
• tweezers
• cuticle nippers and cuticle oil
• lip gloss or lip moisturizer
• any and all medications
• magazines/books/kindle
• writing pad
• various serums and moisturizers
• aquaphor
• qtips and kleenex
• phone/laptop and chargers
• if you knit or make jewelry, have a stash
• hair brush
• dry shampoo
• patience...

nothing like a wet wound

Happy Tuesday. I am forcing myself to use proper capitalization for the success of my main blog, so bear with me. Yesterday was my 3 week check up and x-rays at CORE. I have essentially been on pause since my last appointment two weeks ago. Dr. C told me yesterday that recovery is very slow in the beginning and then seems to just take off. I am ready to take off. Some folks go nuts after a day, it took me a few weeks... but I have arrived. Although I am convinced that the reason my ass hasn't doubled in size is this heavy boot and peg leg marriage, it still isn't fun.

My x-rays looks great, bone is coming together and thank you to the cadaver for some fast growing stem cells! I got the okay to drive and I was even bestowed with a temporary handicapped pass to make sure I have enough room to get out of my car and I don't have to park in the back forty. Hello Coachella!!

My wound on the other hand, not so awesome. I was told the strips that covered my incision would dissolve in the shower. I have been showering every other day for two weeks now, without my boot... and the damn things didn't come off. Little did I understand that I could have pulled them off. I thought I had to leave them there until the bitter end. Hell knows what I would have done if I pulled them off and the skin came too. I thought they were best left alone... but I was wrong. The lower part of my incision was still kind of sticky (gross) and not healed all the way. Dr. C peeled them off (I had to look away) and then swabbed me up with iodine and more bandage. I get to remove all of this today to see my bare foot.

On the bright side, I have three more weeks until the boot can come off and I can start doing some physical therapy. This will be a total of 6 weeks in the boot. I welcome the first night of bootless sleep and possible some tummy time. This thing is a beast. I will most likely transition into a running shoe, and physical therapy will consist of teaching me how to walk again, literally. With hereditary bunions, one's gait is drastically impeded by the shape of the foot and deformity of the joint. I have been walking wrong for 20+ years, so now I get to learn. Keeping in mind that recovery starts to take off, I'm hoping that swimming, hiking, pilates and jimmy choo's follow closely.

when all else fails, rock the boot poolside.

xo
bree mercer james

finding motivation to go nowhere

almost 3 weeks post surgery (2/20) and i have become a huge fan of keeping my boot off for most the day while i am home. it's our week "off" of kids, so it's back to blogging, browsing the internet and occasionally getting some floor exercise in. my foot is much less swollen and i am able to shower without a boot, so my flabby little calf isn't hairy any more.

i can't say much for the condition of my toenails and my skin surrounding the incision, other than it seems to be getting better each day. a pedicure would do wonders, but my foot is still sensitive to touch... and really, who cares? not like anyone is going to notice my snazzy new Spring toe color when i'm pegging by on my leg with a giant space boot on. more importantly, i was able to take my boot off and put on my hudsons last night (they still fit) to go have fish tacos and margaritas. bliss.

my next doctor appointment is Monday. it's a waiting game until then. he will take xrays and determine how much longer i will most likely need to be in the walking boot. i am hoping for two more weeks, fingers crossed. putting any pressure on my foot is very challenging right now- mentally more than physically. i have not walked on it in so long and i have a lot of anxiety about putting weight on it. this should hopefully get easier in the near future and with physical therapy. i never thought i would look forward to dawning a swim cap and a speedo again, but i am holding my breath. more than likely i will be able to swim in the next four weeks and then gradually get back to more weight bearing exercise.

i am loving the look of my foot (see the comparison below *swelling aside) and very glad i had the surgery. tough to think about when i will have the next foot done, but at least we are all someone prepared for the chaos around here.

until monday.
xo

modern medicine

went to see dr. C yesterday and he removed my stitches. i was lucid enough in the early days of surgery to save a pain pill for the event. i have never had stitches, and had terrible anxiety over them being pulled out. the man took a half day at work and we drove over to the coast to CORE orthopedics. we got right in and were shown to a curtained room for stitch removal. Cesar rolled in and cut off my bandage (me wincing) and removed all the tape. there were only 11 stitches, but it looked like a lot more. removal was easy and doc said my healing progress is excellent. i was too squeamish to look down, so i had justin take a pic.

as you can see from the photo, the skin around the incision is really damaged from being kept under a bandage this long. girl gonna be doing some serious exfoliating in the near future. overall though, my foot looks amazing. having the stitches out feels like a huge step in my recovery, and seeing my new foot made me feel like this is worth the down time.

my procedure is called an "open base wedge osteotomy" . you can see an animated version of the surgery HERE .it is a newer procedure for bunions that has really only been perfected in the last couple years. in my metatarsal wedge, the doctor inserts a bone graph that he took from my bunion that was shaved off and then he adds stem cell to encourage bone growth and speed up healing. it's pretty amazing. i can say that choosing the right surgeon is absolutely the most important step in deciding upon surgery. don't choose the person who over promises and assures you that your recovery will be easy- because that's a lie. choose the person who is going to stay in that operating room until they see a perfect x-ray.

so it's day 12 today, stitches out and i will be able to get my foot wet in two more days. the boot will be my shoe of choice for 4 more weeks approximately, and then i will most likely graduate into a comfy running shoe. my pain is almost completely gone, aside from some swelling after being up and around a lot, it is insignificant.

i won't be running a marathon anytime soon, but i am pretty stoked on my new wheel.

xo

i got my hands back!

yesterday was a low point for me. i suppose one of the steps of recovery is regret, and i felt a bit regretful about this surgery yesterday. i have done all i can to keep my spirits up and look at the bright side, making sure i stay on the up and up. a girl needs a day though. as it turns, the ups man brought my hands free crutch. of course it showed up in a box that had multiple bags and potentially could require a tool box and a clearer head. luckily, it was no tools required and it assembled quite easily. i had some trouble with getting the straps just right- but once it was adjusted properly, i could get it on without too much hassle.

once it was strapped on, there was a bit of a learning curve. i used the walls to make sure i didn't fall. essentially the weight is all on my left (surgery) knee and shin and my foot is tucked behind me. being able to use both hands was such a liberating feeling. not to mention how much more comfortable it is. i'm not signing up for a half marathon anytime soon, but the hands free crutch allows me to cook, talk on the phone, do laundry, and just wander aimlessly around the house if i feel like it. it's genius. i used it most of the day today and imagine that by monday i will be cruising out in public with it. grocery shopping for the week on monday is now possible.

my pain meds are at a premium right now, as i am down to the last few. i know i want a couple for monday before i get stitches out. by looking at the size of my incision, i'm guessing that it's not going to be a fabulous experience. as much as taking the medication has it's downside...  i am not sure if there's going to be a refill at the end of that rainbow either. thank stars for advil. my husband was the first person to inform me about advil's incredible anti-inflammatory benefits. i had no idea, as i have never been injured or gone through surgery. i have learned that advil is quite magic. in cooperation with my pain medication, it has totally kept my foot from feeling as swollen and prevented a lot of the throbbing sensation, that is ultimately one of the most uncomfortable side effects of my recovery. i know there's a grip of reasons why advil may not be good for me, but i don't want to know.

it's a wild saturday night here. i took a nice shower with all my favorite lush products, we ordered greek takeout, and a good phillip seymour hoffman movie in the cue (RIP xo).

happy weekend.
xo